Archive for the ‘Swaps’ Category

Travel for Real: How I’m Gonna Go to Europe and Maybe Back – Part 4

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

(Later in that flight)

No wonder I couldn’t read the secret meaning of her bracelets. Something was terribly wrong! And it wasn’t then, no, then it was just beautiful, the comfort of the guilty feeling when you know for sure you can’t be guilty at all. The wrong part only comes now, as I write: I have just realized that it takes a wee bit of Dali and quite a strong dose of Picasso to make the hand and arm of the English girl in the KLM flight perfectly match the described position with her book, blue jeans, white fingers and the arm rest of my seat.  She was young, all right. Attractive over the limit, all right (in a 22-hour one-stop flight who wouldn’t be?). But contortionist, no way! Russian ballerina, no way! How was she, actually?

Now, as I remember, she was asleep. Or so she seemed.

inflight picture not mockos

She moved slightly as the plane shook from some lateral wind and the light dimmed and most kids cried but only a few mums shushed. Her left leg crossed over my right one, which was a severe violation of my private economy class space but I could see no air marshals or even better looking hostesses, so I chose not to induce any panic on board and I did not complain. The light got dimmer but not fast enough to prevent me from seeing her fragile, almost argyle, agile, ankle. A while.

She was wearing sandals: vandal’s teeth marks, shark’s in her flesh, fresh.  I didn’t like her much. So I didn’t touch. I looked at my watch. There was NO time. Just a chime.  We were stopping soon, in Bangkok, at noon.

——

NOTE: By mistake or just randomly chosen, the airliners featuring in this post and the previous one replace British Airways and its partners, with whom indeed I flew. This is thanks to a charge they applied to my MasterCard for trying to contact over their satellite (?) phone a number on the ground, as I was flying over. It was something like 30 US a minute for NOT getting through. I wrote to British Airways and that letter came back at some expense, too. But never mind, the girl was real. I just picture her in a plane belonging to a company I am more comfortable with.

The Worst Website Ever – swapid.com

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

During my random searches on the Net (mostly looking for robots) I came across the most ridiculous website. Web page, I should say, as it is not a website (yet?), or maybe I should call it web document as it’s not really a page; or not even a document, it’s just a web text.

I wanted to print screen copy it and post it here but it’s not worth the hassle. Just go have a look at swapid.com – what an exaggerate load of crap!

Let’s swap our ID !!! Let’s have an ID-swapping party 🙂

Or maybe swapid is a verb, like: “I’ll swapid you tonight, baby!” or maybe  “Swapida la vista!” Sick stuff, really!

I asked our friends from Google to show me photos of ID swapping and this is what they came up with at  number 1 across the web:

A POKEMON!!!

This the Pokemon

There’s a better one later down the search results:

Pokemon_Types

This one bellow is a great picture, as it’s not even a picture but has a lot to do with the swaps.

id-swap-m

My favourite on this search is a more sophisticated one (I have enlarged it for a better view as it was just tiny like a miniature work of art on the Net):

wow speedy art

I don’t know what you make of this, but to me it is full of drama and it really tells a long story in one shaky frame. It says: “I’m the frustrated boy racer with a frustratingly slow car, that does ZERO miles per hour at ZERO rpm but some of my other systems work!”

However, nothing can beat the greatest idiotic web proposition ever: swapid.com – I reserve for you the pleasure to get it straight from the horse’s mouth. It only takes one minute if you have a slow connection and it requires about half a neuron to comprehend what’s there and how useless it is!