Archive for the ‘General’ Category

My First Abduction

Saturday, October 17th, 2009

A True Story

I was first abducted by a long-haired alien when I was a young bull with no brain between my horns, just having managed to survive the compulsory army camp all Soviet boys had to go through. I was a sitting duck when the she alien landed in my neighborhood.

She was long and svelte, yet short and curvy and her beauty was leaving behind a comet’s trail of hair that could be red had it not been exo-green. She smiled on occasions and cried a lot. Her language was odd and I never tried to understand it more than a never-ending chant. She scribbled little funny dots and lines that looked more like seafood then letters.  She smelled of disaster and grapes. Holding her hand was like falling in a crevasse, as our fingers would never want to stay still and the History of the Universe was at crossroads when we were walking together had in hand in that muddy reality. We became stars.

Or did we?

That she alien was slowly absorbing me and taking me into a dimension I couldn’t understood, so I fought back. And back fought I the more, the more she wanted me to slip for good into her uncharted world.

We mingled among students in a huge university cut out of grey stone in the midst of a dark city of two million and soon found our own retreat underground. There was a small window at the pavement level but time itself was mainly night, as fragile creatures visiting our cruel world can’t stand our Sun when playing games of power and desire. We shared a table, a chair, a cupboard and a bed.  Had books. Had dreams. Had each other.

In summertime we would go hiding badly in places where anyone could see how beautiful we were. This photo was taken then to serve as a sample on board her mother ship as the experiment progressed.

SheAlienAndAuthor1989green

In our bunker we had a tin pot for brewing coffee, cooking Earth roots and warming water to wash our time travel fluids with.  I was hoping for the American bomb to flash us still out of that life and print us together onto the basement’s wall.  She hoped for her I-never-knew-what.

One day she was gone.

The abduction was over and I dropped to the floor. Almost dead, yet safe from her witchcraft. I pulled myself together and I learned to forgive and forget. I lived.

I lived perhaps to the edge of my grave only to find out that all this time I’ve been watched, monitored, tested through my soul implants, maybe even loved by that incarnation that’s now nowhere to be seen, yet still holds my life in her beautiful alien palm. Should I fear a second abduction?

Oslogate – The Lewinsky-Obama Conspiracy

Saturday, October 10th, 2009

Is this the work of the Republicans? Is it just the Norwegians by themselves? No way! This has long been in the making.

US President Barack Obama is getting the Nobel Prize for… Peace. Last time a Democrat President was given a gift of this nature, it came from Monica Lewinsky.

How to Make Love in a Fishing Boat

Friday, October 9th, 2009

It’s been a while since the last mockopost. It would have been even longer but for the sake of an idea I thought I had and in fact it was nothing at all, yet it got me going.

This post should actually be called “What Is Love” but I found that “How to Make Love in a Fishing Boat” sounds a bit more lucrative, advertorial and should therefore bring a few more readers.

What is love making? It’s hard to say. Anyone can come up with a definition based on experience, desire, dreams, frustrations, you name it! With some help from our friend Google, I looked for photos. The “moderate search” had to be on in order to avoid conflicts with the very rating of mockoblog.com. I did find one interesting picture sent by our ocean-dwelling cousins:

star-fish-making-love

Then I found a human version:

max-bmwf-wall

And finally, this one, 100% Platonic:

Love_Making_by_specialsally

All I needed was to find a suitable fishing boat and I did:

Lombok_Islands-Fishing_boat

Why did I post this? There is only one creature on this planet who knows. And it’s not a human.

What Have We Became?

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

40 years since Woodstock. And from the Moon Landing. Are we so much more controlled by the corporate robots that we can’t exceed or at least equal our human achievements and our sense of joy from the 60s?

We grounded the Concorde and replaced it with nothing. We are grounding the Space Shuttle and replace it with obsolete, no-return craft.

In the West we are fatter than ever and junk food operators post record profits during recession. Most of Africa remains below poverty. In Congo children dig uranium ore with their bare hands.

In some countries kids can start a gay relationship at sixteen with funding from the government but can’t buy a beer for their dad until they are eighteen.

Jews overtly kill Muslims, Muslims openly kill Christians, Christians have just stopped killing Jews.

Ex-communist billionaire oligarchs buy and sell nuclear stuff to dictators of empty-stomach republics.

The only true war in the last four decades should have been the Falkland/Malvine one. Ugly enough this one, too.

Some corporate CEOs earn more than a rock star and pretty much all big CEOs earn more than the number one tennis player. However, in Africa, Asia and Oceania people who live half the years others live in the West earn less in a month than the equivalent of my dog’s daily breakfast. (Mind you: I don’t really work but I have two big dogs.)

40 years after Woodstock, less people live in a house they own. The annual income of any of the top 100 corporate is bigger than the GDP of almost any country on this planet, with the exception of the few where big businesses are based.

Relax: our robots are getting better and better day by day.