Archive for the ‘LIVE MOCKOBLOG’ Category

How You Have Become the Taylor-Made User

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

This is where we have come: instead of making the product according to your needs, now the robots are shaping you to suit their product.

U1

They gather your data and you become less personal, have less real choices, spend more time seeking a good product or service then enjoying it and your life is gone.

U2

From fast food to governments, from media networks to the medical system they force you to fit in the appropriate little box.

U3

You, the user, have become merchandise. I bet you love it! It makes you feel unique.

U4

The only catch is that you have to pay them to buy you!

Robots and Humans Can Chat

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

I’m sorry for the kind of boring info bellow, but I think many of the humans still alive and kicking on this planet have been through experiences like that. I make no apology for the true info in the text bellow. If the other party concerned (which happens to be the host of the mockoblog) has any serious issues, you may see this site down. I am disclosing here more of my personal info than their corporate info anyway. Let’s just say I have recorded this conversation for training purposes. I have only made spelling corrections, the rest is as it was LIVE minutes ago:

All our operators are currently assisting others customers. You are currently in position 2 Thank you for your patience. An operator will be with you shortly.

You are now chatting with ‘Victor’

Victor: Welcome to Live Chat support, how may I help you?

Victor: Hello Alex

Victor: How may I help you today?

alex: I am a very upset guy, in New Zealand. Your services are so bad!

alex: it’s 2.40 am here

alex: i have a domain with you and my site is hosted with you

alex: are you a robot?

alex: Victor, are you a robot?

Victor: No, I am real human being

alex: That’s nice to hear.

Victor: We are sorry for the inconvenience caused to you

Victor: Please let me know your queries

alex: Look: you guys lost my site last week ago, it went down for 24 hours and being a blog-type I lost a lot. I complained and I thought we came OK in the end.

alex: I’m not so concerned about losing 12 days of my intellectual property and of my users’…

alex: .. I know it cannot be fixed…

alex: I Received many messages from your service support and from your billing department, may of them polite lies…

Victor: Ok

Victor: Are you not able to access your website ?

alex: but now this exceeds all: I wanted to add a new domain, which should be free, the name is SWAPID.COM, and as soon as I clicked on it and it was available, I got NOT one but TWO bills for it!!! It was supposed to be free!

alex: are you a robot, mate?

alex: of course now i can access my website, i just lost 12 days of it

alex: THIS IS NOT EVEN ABOUT THAT LOSS, it’s about how you guys carry on robbing me

Victor: No, I am a real human being

alex: I’ll be silent now for a few moments, maybe you reply.

Victor: I am going through your question, please give me a moment.

alex: Hi human being, sorry Victor, you are offering good customer service, it’s just the brand you work for that does not.

Victor: Thank you for your patience…

Victor: As per my understanding you have been charged twice for the domain name registration, right ?

alex: Kind of yes: I should not be charged at all for registering the second domain, as it is advertised by you guys. Thice is two times too much I’m afraid. I just want to secure and park that second domain until I am rady to use it.

alex: Can you please reverse the charge(s) on my VISA?

Victor: Alex, regarding your issue I will request you to please send an email to our billing department at billing@justhost.com

Victor: Our admins will provide you the details in this regards

alex: GOD! You are impersonating the email reply! I have already done this!

Victor: Please provide me the ticket ID

alex: Look Victor, I appreciate your patience and good will. EVERY single step I had with Just Host since I got the first domain with you WAS WRONG. I have received tonnes of excuses and some free services I don’t necessarily need. All I want is to be square on what I get and how much I pay for it. It is pure robbery on your side, mate. YOU can forward my requests to any department you may wish to. I need my money back and my services JUST NORMAL. Not to mention the amount of data your server lost from may main site. Does it sound reasonable to you?

alex: I am looking for the ticket ID, there are a few because I had a few issues with your company. Please wait.

Victor: Yes, sure

Victor: Are you there ?

alex: A good old re: ticket would be 304117, but there are new ones: 323183; 323187; 323193 and 323199. There may be more.

alex: Not only that I am here, but I’m wasting my fifth night in two months since I got stupid enough to become a customer of Just Host’s. The very first night i wanted to secure a domani with you I spend two hours on the phone New Zealand to Europe (charged to my phone account) to sort basic stuff out.

Victor: Please allow me some time to check

alex: Victor, do you realise how upset I am? I know it’s not your personal problem but if it is, it would give me a great deal of satisfaction to know that you have claimed some stress benefit from JustHost. I am allowing you time, sorry mate.

Victor: Thank you for your patience…

Victor: I will create the ticket on your behalf

Victor: Please provide me the domain name for which you have been charged twice

Victor: Is it SWAPID.COM ?

alex: A new ticket? That’s great! Could you please mention o this magic ticket that: 1. I shall take Just Host to court unless all tickets are solved ASAP (ASAP=24 hours); 2. I expect NO charge for a new domain added to my account, AS ADVERTISED; 3. Written explanations from a manager who has a phone number I can call.

alex: Yes, that’s the one.

alex: I only went for SWAPID.COM because I had the chance to get another one free.

Victor: You can host unlimited domains under your single hosting account for free

Victor: But if you want to register the new domain name then you will be charged $14.95/year

Victor: We are sorry for the inconvenience caused to you for the delay in the response for the tickets that you have plaved

Victor: placed*

alex: Finally, we agree on some small topic, Victor. The point is my VISA was debited before even the confirmation of this domain appeared on my other screen. It was supposde to be free.

Victor: I have checked your account

Victor: And found 1 outstanding invoice

alex: OK. You make sense. What do we do now? I AM sure you are not a robot and I am sincerely sorry to have taken you through so much trouble.

Victor: Have you charged twice for that

Victor: ?

alex: Shall we take it step by step? If yes, the outstanding invoice souled have been cleared by now, it was issued for a service that was actually small compensation for the loss Just Host caused me.

Victor: You have been charged for swapid.com as $14.95

Victor: Each additional transfer/registration costs $14.95/year for each extra domain name.

alex: I don’t think I should be charged for swapid now, it is not hosted, I just need to secure that domain, then, when the site is up,. it will be hosted by you. But the way your web buying system is designed kives no chance to customers.

alex: No, no, no! Back to square one. Victor, I am entitled to one extra domain for free, I get this advertised when I log in for my main one.

alex: Do you think FREE equals $14.95? If yes, I’m glad to pay it.

Victor: Alex, you can register the domain name and you can host it free

Victor: Are you getting me ?

alex: Please don’t be a robot again. it’s 3:20 AM here.

Victor: You will be charged $14.95 /year for domain registration

Victor: You can host it free under your single hosting control panel

Victor: As you have outstanding invoice because of that reason your domain name is not yet registered

Victor: Please clear the outstanding invoices then you will be provided with the new domain details

alex: OK, my fault. So I do have to pay for ther registration. I do have SWAPID.COM now, but hosting is free! That’s cool. I see. I just don’t understand how can you guys advertise for free stuff for life if you charge straight away?

Victor: You can host it for free

Victor: You can add that domain as addon domain from your control panel

Victor: An add-on domain is just like having a separate web site.

Victor: First clear the outstanding invoice

alex: Part two now: the outstanding invoices, wait a minute, I’ll show you how we got to this and how JustHost actually cleared the invoice, unless we are talking different languages. What is THE ITEM on the outstanding invoice?

Victor: You can check the billing details from your billing area

Victor: Please access the following link for your billing area

Victor: [email link]

alex: Would that be the invoice you are mentioning? I had an email about it the other day. It is relating to a lot of damage your company caued me. Please read and if it is not the one, I’ll access the link:

alex: HI Alex Thank you for bringing this to our attention. The invoice was sent in error and the charge has not been applied to your account. The daily back up has been added free to your account along with three months free hosting. I am very sorry for the inconvenience. Kind regards Chloe — Chloe Ingram Billing representative www.justhost.com

alex: Do I have ANOTHER INVOICE?

Victor: It is showing me that you have purchased the swapid.com as additional domain name

Victor: Invoice Number:   85393-14229959

alex: Ok, and it also shows on my online banking that the 14.95 dollars US (about 24 of my NZ dollars) have been debited from my VISA. It may be outstanding at your end. We are 12 hours apart. I don’t know.

alex: I have received that invoice as a .pdf, thanks. You are doing a great job. I have no clue as to why it doesn’t show as paid at your end. The money has been taken out of my card.

Victor: Alex, regarding your issue I will request you to please send an email to our billing department and provide them the account statements

Victor: Our admins will provide you the details in this regards

Victor: Is there anything else I can help you with?

alex: Could you be more specific? I have more issues than positive things going on with my Just Host account. Which issue do you think I should address first? The fact taht my main website was down for 24 hours? The fact that it was restored to a 14 days older stage? The 12 days of lost posts and comments on mockoblog.com? The lost traffic I had? The drop in credibility? The issues regarding billing first for services not yet provided? Your choice. I’ve had enough of this. Yet you’ve been a great communicator. Thanks Victor! There is REALLY nothing else you can help me with. As to your admins, I’m sure they’ll send me a few more emails. I collect them. OVER & OUT

Victor: Please mention your all issues in that email

Victor: I will also update our admins regarding your issue

Victor: You will be updated soon

Victor: Is there anything else I can help you with?

Victor: I have not received a response from you for some time and will need to end this session. If you need further assistance please log back in to Live Chat. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. Thank you.

Victor: We are pleased to bring to your attention the following offer.

Victor: Let us take away any worries of accidental deletion or modification of your website or files by backing up your site on a daily basis. If you ever need a previous days backup, just let us know and we will happily restore or upload backups for you – $19.95 per year.

Victor: Have a nice day!! Good Bye.

Chat session has been terminated by the site operator.

*

Mockoblog Survival Test

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Do you think the time of humans as we know them (the hard working guys who mostly die of hunger and the soft flashy rich ones, who die of publicity or overloaded bank accounts) will carry on for much longer?

Do you think petrol is going up and uranium is going down? Do you believe in God as I don’t?

All we now call ‘human society’ could come to an end not by our demise, but by our dismissal. If you are from this planet and if you claim to be human, have you considered the Era of the Machine? We have that machine in place. It is yet spacious, parts of it are being called Google, parts of it are being called Pentagon, parts of it are proud of being called the UN or the Red Cross or the Children’s Found or your sports club. The technology gathered together by all these entities is taking another shape: it is becoming a world wide disease as we speak.

Swine flu? I had it! I am alive. Did I start it? Yes! For the guy next to me who also got it, yes! Do I rip the benefits? Guess who does it on my behalf! A disease with a name needs tests, vaccines and targeted medicine. Do I make them? Do I own the company who makes them? Think about it!

Petrol crisis? Did I make it? It did affect me, it does affect you (and when it doesn’t, fear for worse, as it will come back with a vengeance)!

Recession: uuuups! Did you take any advantage of it? No? I’m so sorry. Anyone you know? No? Sorry again. Somebody is making huge profits. Is it you?

Computers, ipods, cellphones, play consoles, fast foods, space stations, fast Internet, travel tickets, bargains, pre-booked funerals, photo sharing, insurance schemes, pharmaceutical conglomerates, gyms, adopetd kids, DVDs of how to get rich, etc. – do you own any of these? If your answer is ‘yes’ – piss of the mockoblog! If your answer is ‘no’ – welcome to the party of the losers, a.k.a. the human mankind.

If you’re not quite sure, follow these steps:

1. Check your life status: tick 1 for being alive and 0 for being dead;

2. Ask your family how do they feel about it (no family – ask your friends) – score 0 anyway;

3. Are you going to be richer tomorrow? – score 1 if you read this tomorrow;

4. Are you going to be healthier tomorrow? – score 5 as long as you can because this is just a special offer;

5. Add up the previous results (no adding skills? –  score 10 points for being able to control a calculator);

6. If your score exceeds mine, I grant you another 2 points;

7. If you don’t know my score, I take 100 points off your total;

8. If you’re still insisting on finding you total or have any other questions, please press ctr+alt+del;

9. Not happy yet? Here’s a 1 point bonus for your loyalty!!!;

10. Ignore the first 9 steps, we all know you’re part of the machine that allows you to take part in our survey. You have been granted another day as a human on this planet, as you know it. It may be your last.

Disclaimer: Due to the rating of mockoblog.com, we are not able to ask the more specific questions that could lead to an exact day of your dismissal from the human species. However, we can assure you taht you have taken the right approach and when the machine will govern alone, your memory will be considered for an upgrade to a happier state. This offer does not extend to siblings, parents or children, unless they have taken the test on their own, which could be highly damaging for your unique future DNA profile, thus we advise to disable their machine account anyway.

*

Hey readers!

It’s not such a big deal! You’ll have to die anyway. It doesn’t come like an UFO invasion! This is already here and you are used to it. It’s gonna be smooth stuff, maybe you’ll even get a glimpse of how it’s done. Don’t blame Google or BP or Microsoft or the companies that make drugs and want their manes not to be so easy to remember. Thy are just the big fish that took the big bait first. The engine is running pretty cool for them. When your turn comes, it may be a good idea to think that is just religious stuff, maybe a pandemic or something, or maybe the economy collapsing. Take your pick! The result is the same. And you’re not gonna be part of the ones to see it. Unless you are an alien, of course.

As for me, the only alien I got to know closely is the PC and Internet machine. But what do I know?!

How Would You Feel to Be Robbed and Then Having to Pay the Thief for Stealing Your Stuff?

Monday, July 27th, 2009

After loosing almost two weeks of the Mockoblog information and promissing free updates (to prevent this from occuring again), our lovely host sent us a bill for the very service they offered for free to compensate for their awful mistake. And this is not a “computer error”. I have exchanged real emails with real people at Just Host – the worst host I’ve encountered to date.

I Simply Can’t Believe It!

I Simply Can’t Believe It!

How Would You Feel to Be Robbed and Then Having to Pay the Thief for Stealing Your Stuff?

Do we live already in a society controlled by computers, robots and have the corporate “humans” become the slaves of the Machine?