Do you think the time of humans as we know them (the hard working guys who mostly die of hunger and the soft flashy rich ones, who die of publicity or overloaded bank accounts) will carry on for much longer?
Do you think petrol is going up and uranium is going down? Do you believe in God as I don’t?
All we now call ‘human society’ could come to an end not by our demise, but by our dismissal. If you are from this planet and if you claim to be human, have you considered the Era of the Machine? We have that machine in place. It is yet spacious, parts of it are being called Google, parts of it are being called Pentagon, parts of it are proud of being called the UN or the Red Cross or the Children’s Found or your sports club. The technology gathered together by all these entities is taking another shape: it is becoming a world wide disease as we speak.
Swine flu? I had it! I am alive. Did I start it? Yes! For the guy next to me who also got it, yes! Do I rip the benefits? Guess who does it on my behalf! A disease with a name needs tests, vaccines and targeted medicine. Do I make them? Do I own the company who makes them? Think about it!
Petrol crisis? Did I make it? It did affect me, it does affect you (and when it doesn’t, fear for worse, as it will come back with a vengeance)!
Recession: uuuups! Did you take any advantage of it? No? I’m so sorry. Anyone you know? No? Sorry again. Somebody is making huge profits. Is it you?
Computers, ipods, cellphones, play consoles, fast foods, space stations, fast Internet, travel tickets, bargains, pre-booked funerals, photo sharing, insurance schemes, pharmaceutical conglomerates, gyms, adopetd kids, DVDs of how to get rich, etc. – do you own any of these? If your answer is ‘yes’ – piss of the mockoblog! If your answer is ‘no’ – welcome to the party of the losers, a.k.a. the human mankind.
If you’re not quite sure, follow these steps:
1. Check your life status: tick 1 for being alive and 0 for being dead;
2. Ask your family how do they feel about it (no family – ask your friends) – score 0 anyway;
3. Are you going to be richer tomorrow? – score 1 if you read this tomorrow;
4. Are you going to be healthier tomorrow? – score 5 as long as you can because this is just a special offer;
5. Add up the previous results (no adding skills? – score 10 points for being able to control a calculator);
6. If your score exceeds mine, I grant you another 2 points;
7. If you don’t know my score, I take 100 points off your total;
8. If you’re still insisting on finding you total or have any other questions, please press ctr+alt+del;
9. Not happy yet? Here’s a 1 point bonus for your loyalty!!!;
10. Ignore the first 9 steps, we all know you’re part of the machine that allows you to take part in our survey. You have been granted another day as a human on this planet, as you know it. It may be your last.
Disclaimer: Due to the rating of mockoblog.com, we are not able to ask the more specific questions that could lead to an exact day of your dismissal from the human species. However, we can assure you taht you have taken the right approach and when the machine will govern alone, your memory will be considered for an upgrade to a happier state. This offer does not extend to siblings, parents or children, unless they have taken the test on their own, which could be highly damaging for your unique future DNA profile, thus we advise to disable their machine account anyway.
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Hey readers!
It’s not such a big deal! You’ll have to die anyway. It doesn’t come like an UFO invasion! This is already here and you are used to it. It’s gonna be smooth stuff, maybe you’ll even get a glimpse of how it’s done. Don’t blame Google or BP or Microsoft or the companies that make drugs and want their manes not to be so easy to remember. Thy are just the big fish that took the big bait first. The engine is running pretty cool for them. When your turn comes, it may be a good idea to think that is just religious stuff, maybe a pandemic or something, or maybe the economy collapsing. Take your pick! The result is the same. And you’re not gonna be part of the ones to see it. Unless you are an alien, of course.
As for me, the only alien I got to know closely is the PC and Internet machine. But what do I know?!
