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Bed Time Story (continued from 16/03/2011)

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

Part 5. This is about money, isn’t it?

Yes, it is when it gets about the wizard thing. When Faruno turns into a wizard.

How do we make money on Planet Go-to-Bed?

I actually have a good idea: kill a cow with a sword made of lava and obsidian and diamond? (That was cool.)

Do you know that long time ago even on Planet Earth people were killing cows to make their wishes come true?

Dad, people don’t do that. But people on Planet Go-to-Bed think that. Did you put a full-stop? I’ve got a better idea! If they feed the cow or an elephant to a rhyno, they may get another person from the Planet Earth.

This is called sacrifice. OK, let’s get back to Faruno becoming a magician (Dad, this is another word for wizard). OK, we want to make more money, but we don’t know how. If we copy this story many times with the printer and sell them to a librarian for money, we get rich.

[at this point the author goes back to his computer game]

I think we have to carry on with this story another night.

Dad, I want to do some more of the story now ’cause the page is not big enough. I can attack from wherever I want, I have two bad guys, but I move when they attack me.

I can’t think of how Faruno can make money.

But there’s no money on Planet Go-to-Bed.

They have to kill a cow with a sword. To kill a cow means making money because that planet is a magic place.

OK, can we go to bed now before we make money? I’ll go to brush my teeth and the computer should be off when I return. We’ll finish the money story another night, when we figure out how. Good night, Faruno Albalgandon Vextraliensis!

Dad, I want you to read a real story for me, not to be making a fake one. You pick any story but it has to be one I like.

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Bed Time Story (continued from 07/02/2011)

Wednesday, March 16th, 2011

Night 4

When Faruno got re-born, the Government of the Planet Go-to-Bed gave him the captaincy of a very fine space ship. He was one of the oldest captains ever to be given a brand new rocket at the age of two days.

His plan was to go to Planet Earth to get some cows. The new rocket was running on petrol so Captain Faruno had to go to Earth first to get some petrol, because his planet had no petrol at all.

But how could he? He had no petrol to go! How can he go to Earth without any petrol? Maybe he can ask another ship to bring him petrol first. But how? Do you think he can send am email or a text message to another rocket? No! Why not? I think a message may take a couple of days because he may be so far away. We need to find something faster than a message or even than light. A ‘comic’? No, I mean a comet? Comets are not fast enough, they are even slower than light. Is there anything faster than light?

Dad, we are going to make this into a real book. Can we send this story to the printer and make a real book?

Can you think of the Moon and of the Sun? If I close my eyes, I can. It takes a couple of seconds to think of the Sun. It takes ten fingers worth one second each to think of the planet Go-to-Bed. Faruno needs about… it’s a bit tricky but if he’s smarter than us.., Faruno can think of petrol from our planet in about five seconds. No, I’m smarter, I can think about that in about one second!  His space ship can travel only with the power of all the people on his planet, if they all think together the same thing.

Captain Faruno Albalgandon Vextraliensis got all the beings on his planet to think together and this is what happened: They all thought so hard, old people thought of walking sticks, creatures with many legs thought of even more walking sticks, young people thought of their wishes and suddenly…

Dad, if you had one wish, what would you wish for? I don’t have only an answer. I do, I wished only once in my entire life, I would wish to have wishes all my entire life. Would you wish the same?

…and suddenly from the sky it started to snow slowly and gently with walking sticks but also with cows and elephants and even with wishing wells. And petrol! (But petrol is dirty.) Everybody was so happy, they were all over the moon. Their planet has no moon, though. Only Faruno was not happy at all. He didn’t need to travel in his brand new space ship any more. They all had all they wanted and he was not needed.

I’ve fallen from bed on purpose. Every time we have to do a story, do we only do it until the page is finished?

Faruno decided that being a captain is not a good idea and he wanted now to become a wizard instead.

Is the page finished now? Yes, it is. Instead of doing a story I actually wanted to play some games.

(to be continued)

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Bed Time Story (Continued from 10/05/2010)

Monday, February 7th, 2011

Night 3

What are we writing about? Are we writing the wishing thing? Please don’t write down everything I say. OK.

On planet Go-to-Bed people don’t throw coins into the wishing well, they throw cows, but of course there are no cows on that planet, so they have to wait for space ships from Earth to bring a cow or two every now and then. This is why Faruno Abalgandon Vextraliensis wanted to become a captain, so he could travel to other planets and get more cows. He was hoping that more and more people on planet Go-to-Bed will be able to make wishes, although it didn’t really matter for Faruno if those wishes came true. He didn’t even care whether he was going to bring back home cows or elephants. Of course it is much harder to throw an elephant into a wishing well that was made mostly for cows. However, elephants like water so they could live happily on planet Go-to-Bed, if not piled up too many on the same well.

Prior to becoming a captain, Faruno had to go to university, then school and, finally, to kindergarten. Only the best students ever went to maternity, to be born again. The best captains were chosen among those because when you get re-born, you may not look like other people on your planet, but you may even look like a human, with only two legs, a single nose and maybe a funny hat.

Now mum wants us to go to bed so we may not become space ship captains tonight.

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Internet Fun – Joke of the Day

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

I found this printed somewhere but I’m sure it comes from some email,  thus it qualifies as our joke of the day. I made no changes to it, as it was. Please read and exercise discretion.

Writing About The Sea


1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island . If you don’t have
sea all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
Richardson . She’s not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8 )

6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily Burniston age 5)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the
ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn’t blow, the sailors would whistle
to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating
beans (William age 7)

8 ) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.
How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9) I’m not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always
screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can
give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I
think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my
willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers
can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8 )

13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was
going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water shot up
her fanny. (Julie age 7)..

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