mockoblog

(Nice title, isn’t it?)

19:41 – In less than one hour I’m going to watch the draw for a big lotto prize on TV. In a special way, this report is going to be live blogging, except for it’s not blogging at all.

THE MAIN THINK IS TO REFRESH YOUR PAGE AS MY LIVE COMMENTS WILL BE PUBLISHED AT THE BOTTOM, NOT IN NEW POSTS THAT APPEAR ON TOP!

The top prize is $25,000,000. [TRANSLATION: twenty-five million bucks]

That’s just the cash. You also get some change like:

–           a luxury boat (that’s not the most valuable item there, but I’ll always put a boat first and a house second – think of how many of your relatives live in houses and how many are basking in the sun on their own boat, even though the boat may be worth less than the linen cupboard in the house and requires more maintenance);

–           a couple of luxury cars (just in case you want to race your lover on a James Bond-like narrow road);

–          a credit card loaded with cash (not more than what most people make in their whole professional life working not 9-5 but sometimes 5-9);

–          an apartment (this is a house stuck between other ones);

–          Finally on the list: the house (actually a holiday home in a nice spot where you may moor the boat as well).

I bought three tickets. I’ll tell you what’s going on when the time comes. “Watch this space!” (If I really hate an expression, that’s the one: “watch this space”. So don’t bloody watch my bloody blog, or I’ll get bloody angry! Please just be decent and read it. Things to be watch are made in a certain way so they can be watched. You can watch a movie, a car race and even a volcano eruption. Or you can watch your step as you climb down that ladder. But things that come in writing should be red, not watch or should they? That’s bordering into communication theory and semantics again and lotto is far more interesting, as with lotto you can become a millionaire overnight, while the linguistic rubbish is only for the academia and other nerds.

So just read this space! (As though a space could be red!)
REMEMBER: NO REFRESH, NO LIVE MOCKOBLOG!

20:18 – Testing the live mockoblog stream (which is actually not a stream, but a quantified something full of redundancy and with just a little bit of new information).

20:22 – It works for my computer and for my smartphone (as long as I keep refreshing the page).

20:22 – Here’s the draw: 10, 35, 15, 6, 2, 39. (This already excludes one of my three tickets, the most precious one , the one with my families fayes of birth.)

20:24 – I realize that I have just invented a form of one-way communication which is slower than the telegraph, shallower than the television and as useful to you on your wedding day as the first grafitti you placed on your secondary school’s fence.

20:27 – This time I’ve got nothing to say. I’m just looking for my tickets sa I can check the numbers. Feel free to take a loo brake if you must.

20:29 – Are you still here?? I won!!!

20:29, Part Two – Just kidding.