Archive for the ‘Travel’ Category

The Devil in the Mobile Phone III (Just Cruising Before Crashing) – Updated!

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

WARNING: this post includes information that may have to be removed or will be removed without the author of this blog having to give consent to any edit on this post. If you wish to keep this post or parts of it, you should copy and save what you may need for your future info.

If I were to keep the record straight as in Star Trek this should actually be:

MockoBlog MockoLog # 7

I’m jinxing the evil eye of Google so they may not see this post and ignore it as they have done with all my sublime (mocko)work so far.

My 23 (twenty-three is like two every three days since I launched this blog) readers should feel relief and joy finding out that I was too busy at work to further test my slightly personalized mobile in harsh conditions like pubs, bars, late night pubs and night bars, not to mention jeans/denim back pocket while playing pool under the influence (a magic game I never actually get involved in, unfortunately).

All I did through these last days that involved Queen’s Birthday Weekend was to just have the new phone on me and go to work and back home. And back to work. And again.

Well, having a smartphone casually left on the table at lunch time in the work cafe triggers some comments. It goes like: “Oh, you have Internet on your phone!” or “Oh, I didn’t think Blackberry make them so small?” or “Is it an Ipod?”

I can’t be bothered answering these type of comments, I just say modestly, looking intensely at my plastic fork penetrating the plastic noodles: “No, it’s just – err, it’s just a phone, it was the best ever made when they launched it last year, but actually now it’s not, you can get a more expensive one, it doesn’t have the same features, but it will look bigger, with a bigger screen, you’ll pay for the screen and not for what it can do, so mine is still better. I mean, in a way – anyway, I love my noodles and this phone’s got GPS! See?! And real radio, listen!”

It’s such a cruel comment I’m going to make: the Air France flight from Brazil that was lost in the Atlantic might have had better phones on board.

But they were all switched off. I guess.

Not the phones interfeered with the Airbus’ fly- by-wire system or with its main computer talking with the land-based systems. I may be wrong but in 1994  an Airbus plane flying towards Paris had the auto pilot taking over from the human pilot. It performed jumps up and down, almost crushed the plane while the real pilot was trying to switch the auto system off. The plane went straight up and then down. I think I remember the pilot was then held as a hero, then silenced and perhaps he lost his job. The line that was operating that flight was Tarom. This is one saga I know of, but there might have been other ones. Please don’t take this as 100% sure, it’s just a blog anyway.

If any of my next to zero readers thinks this is a joke, please read:

????? ?? ?????

In case they remove it from the database, here’s a copy of the incident, as described in Franglaise:

INCIDENT TAROM
Le 24 septembre 1994 a 12H 45 le pilote du A310-325 perd le contrôle de l’avion en arrivant à Orly face Ouest. L’avion pique sur la ville de Villeneuve le ROI. A 240 mêtres du sol, le pilote réussit a redresser l’avion.

Incident description – Status:Final


Date: 24 SEP 1994
Time: 12.45
Type: Airbus A.310-325
Operator: Tarom
Registration: YR-LCA
C/n: 636
Year built: 1992
Crew: 0 fatalities / 11 on board
Passengers: 0 fatalities / 175 on board
Total: 0 fatalities / 186 on board
Location: Paris-Orly Airport (ORY) (France)
Phase: Landing
Nature: Scheduled Passenger
Departure airport: Bucharest-Baneasa Airport (BBU)
Destination airport: Paris-Orly Airport (ORY)
Flight number: 381

Remarks:
Tarom Flight 381 approach to Paris-Orly Runway 26 and the captain was at the controls. He decided to perform an automatic approach and landing. The flight crew started to put the aircraft into the approach configuration, with slats and flaps at 15/0 at 10.42:05, then at 15/15 at 10.42:53. The landing gear was extended at 10.42:57. Approaching the OYE beacon at indicated speed 250 kt and heading 325, before lining up with the runway, the Captain noted that the aircraft was not capturing the ILS glide slope automatically. He disconnected the AP and continued the approach on manual control, keeping the Autothrottle in operation. As the aircraft descended through 1,700 feet, at 10.43:22, with a speed of about 195 knots, the Captain asked for flap extension to 20 . The VFE, the speed limit authorized for this new configuration, is 195 knots. When the flap control was set to 20 , the thrust levers advanced and engine thrust increased. The flight crew countered the nose-up effect resulting from the increase in thrust by using the pitch controls, with the auto-throttle (ATHR) remaining in automatic mode. The throttle levers were then quickly brought back to the idle position. At the same time, the trimmable horizontal stabilizer started to move in a nose-up direction. The nose up effect that resulted was countered by the flight crew through gradual nose-down action on the elevators. When the trimmable horizontal stabilizer reached its maximum nose-up value and the elevators also reached their maximum nose down value, the throttle levers, according to the FDR readout, moved rapidly to their stops. In a few seconds, the flight path started to rise and the pitch attitude went to 60 . Witnesses saw the aircraft climb. It banked sharply to the left and the right and stalled before adopting a strongly negative pitch attitude (-33 degrees) towards the ground. The maximum altitude reached was 4,100 feet, while a minimum indicated speed of 35 knots was recorded. The stall and ground proximity warnings sounded during the descent. The flight crew managed to regain control of the aircraft, with the lowest point being around a height of 800 feet, that is 240 meters from the ground. The flight crew then performed a visual circuit, followed from the tower by the controller. The second approach was made with a configuration with slats and flaps at 20/20. Landing took place at 10.52:25.

Safety actions :

Source: (also check out sources used for every accident)
S185 ; FI 5-11.10-94(4) + FI 23-29.11.94(6); AW&ST 03.10.94(37) ; ASW 03.10.94(6) + 17.10.94(6) + 24.10.94(3); Bureau Enquêtes-Accidents Report on the incident on 24 September 1994 during approach to Orly (94) to the Airbus A 310 registered YR-LCA operated by TAROM (YR-A940924A)

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A more famous Airbus incident happened the same year, this time all on bord died in Russia. The conflict between the autopilot and the human pilots was involved in this crush as well. See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aeroflot_Flight_593

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I’ll get back to my mobile phone goodies in a later post. Let’s have a moment of silence for the 228 victims of the last Airbus crush – Flight AF 447.

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On 28/06/09 I received on my email two photos that are thought to be taken on a Casio digital camera by Paulo G. Muller, a Brazilian passenger on that flight, moments before he must have lost his life. It is my duty to say that what can be seen in these pictures more or less destroys my theory and tends to point more towards an explosion, a possible terrorist attack. I have no further comments but I’m sure there will be readers who will.

airbus1decomp

airbus2decomp

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Now that you’ve seen the pictures, I can tell you that they are just dirty advertising for a Casio digital camera, they arrive in your inbox as an email with a story about a Brazilian actor who took them on his Casio camera. The images are actually frames from the TV series LOST. My original theory on what caused that crash stands!

The Devil in the Mobile Phone II (It's Getting Worse)

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

Hello again!

Can we put this in very fine print? Like: terms and conditions? So glad to see you again, especially knowing that YOU in fact don’t exist, ‘cause nobody’s actually reading this blog.

This should be Mockoblog Mockolog # whatever, but I won’t call a number because it’s mainly on one topic.

I disappeared for a few days trying to make sense of my new phone. This is like starting to look after a new born baby. With a wee difference: the mum’s at the pub, you’re not the father, the lights are off and the baby smiles like Sigourney Weaver’s lost alien first born.

It took me one day to get all the accessories I (thought I) needed, one day to download software and most of the next day to find and remove the software I didn’t need or it was not working or it was working when I didn’t want it to or it was simply just costing me money while it was sitting there and doing nothing.

Then I attempted to open the instructions, but I only got as far as page 49 out of 221. You see, it gets very personal around page 50 and I don’t feel yet prepared for it. General stuff, yes, no problems! Well, I mean why not give it a go?!

The first pages are just easy stuff: warnings not to drop the handset in boiling water and reassurance that if you do so and then attempt to pull it out with your bare hands, the manufacturer won’t pay your hospital’s bill + loud sound settings may damage my hearing aid (I had to go and get one to comply with this eventuality, as I’d never thought I really needed one before) + some parts of the phone may actually be internal and/or external antennae, thus I should not be surprised if I get too good reception or/and some devices around may start tweeting while the phone is in use (I had to subscribe to the Twitter website to comply with this one).

Another feature that I found considerably improved from my previous cellphone was the video calling. My ex-phone, four years old and not a smartphone, had videocalling as well. The problem was nobody else among my three relatives and considerably fewer friends did or wanted to use it with me. Now all this has changed and it took a dramatically positive turn when I bought my new phone: I gave the other one away and I can video call it as much as I want. At the other end, one of my close relatives (aren’t they all so close?) has two choices: to answer or not to answer. Let’s say it’s an answer! Then there are two more possibilities: the remote phone is set to receive video calls or it is not set to. In the latter case the call doesn’t proceed as a normal voice call, no, I just get hung up. But let’s say the right setting is on and I can video call! Then we need to find something important to show, not only to say. The video conversation goes like this:

“Hi, is that you?” (of course, I can see him)

“Can you see me?” (see above)

“Errr… so you are OK, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” (obviously)

“Errr, OK, show me something.” (embarrassed smile)

“OK, let me switch to the other camera to show you around.” (this is when I do something wrong and I loose contact, $2.50 later)

*

In fact this conversation should have been:

“Alpha Tango Charlie, do you copy? Over!”

(static)

“Alpha Tango Charlie, this is Alpha Lima Zulu! Do you read me? Over!”

“Alpha Lima Zulu, this is Alpha Tango Charlie! I can copy you! Loud and clear! Your little friend in Phuket sends smiles all over my phone. (brief switch to a secure channel) She misses you. Over!”

“Can you switch to visuals? Over!”

“Affirmative! Switching to visuals! Over!”

“Roger!”

“I’ve got visuals now! Alpha Lima Zulu, what’s that thing behind you??? Over!”

“It’s the – errr – roger me Alpha Tango Charlie?”

“Positive! What’s it doing? Switch to the main cam! Alpha Lima Zulu! Main cam! Roger?”

“Main cam online! Start rolling! Over!”

“Roger that! Rolling on HD visuals and sensors. What’s that thing? Over!”

“I’ve got company. Must cruise in two! What do Intelligence say? Over?”

(encryption gap)

“Alpha Lima Zulu! Intelligence reckon it’s just a launch pad. A dummy one. Over.”

“You gettin’ the frickin’ time delay link? Is it looped? Can you copy visuals? Rocket launch! Rolling? M.F.G. Burn! Burn!”

“Alpha Lima Zulu! Intelligence reckon this pad’s been used before. Got CONF from SATS. It’s Kim Jong Il’s son nomination. Fireworks and stuff, I guess. Roger that? Young chap Jong Un. Roger that? –  Lost visuals. Alpha Lima Zulu! Do you read me? Alpha Tango Charlie calling Alpha Lima Zulu! Do you read me?”

(white noise)

“What the – – – Intelligence, we just lost Numero Uno in the bloody filed! Over! F for F….ing Over!”

” Roger that. Not to worry, New Numero Uno!The French just lost a plane full of people. Intelligence over and out!”

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This is what I call a video conversation. Even without video. And on Government’s money.

Yet video calling is not the best feature of my phone. Do you think GPS and GPS/satellite navigation is? I’ll tell you next time. Now I have to change some user profiles  to better personalize myself.

Tim – A Tribute [updated but not deserved]

Monday, May 25th, 2009

This is going to be bad.

It involves a mate of mine. And… it involves some stuff he did not want to post on my blog. To cut is short, tough luck! I’m still going to put it up ’cause it’s too good not to.

This opens our Travel Section.

For those of you who will never come to New Zealand – what you are about to see can be true. In fact, it normally is. Just much better when it is not a bit worse than you’ve expected.

For those of you who are in New Zealand – here’s how the Aussies see you, if they see you. (Landscapes are great and here this technique can be achieved without a hot air baloon, aye?)

For those of you who are just planning to travel to New Zealand – WOW!

(You may wonder who Tim, the guy from the title of this post is. Don’t worry. He is just a fictional character. Like The Pope.)

WARNING: explicit content, perhaps not explicit enough to offend.

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Copyright – Tim.  Thanks to Liz – wherever you are.