Posts Tagged ‘plane crush’

Google Brings the Apocalypse Near – History in the Mocking VI – The Robots Are Here

Friday, July 3rd, 2009

I’m typing this post with only one finger. Guess which one!?

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I am a human being. I was born. I am going to die. Google is not human. It was born, but it will never die. All Google knows about life is how to kill it. To call Google a “Virus” would be a compliment.

I have a story of soft poisoning and harsh stabbing in the back. Ironically for humans but quite normal for robots, this story is everlasting. Many of you, my readers, will come across this story here through Google itself because the robots have no life and can experience no death.

I just hope that what has happened to me is not a global trend. I know we all shall die but I’d rather see our species demise in a funnier way than the Terminator movies predicted.

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This is the story of how Google killed me:

  1. I created a website (this one);
  2. I subscribed to Google Ads so they could place ads on my mockoblog and I could monitor the usage of my site;
  3. Somebody decided to go on my website just to click on the adverts, so I may get money from Google or just for the basic purpose of taking me out of business;
  4. I noticed an unusual level of clicks on the adverts compared to page visits, I knew who  might have caused it and I asked that party to stop immediately, I even tried to contact Google AdSense to prevent this from happening;
  5. Google measured the numbers and their statistics indicated that I was cheating (which was not at all the case) and I got disconnected from Google AdSense, which for me was the tool to measure the number of hits on my page and the potential interest in advertising there;
  6. Google sent me an email warning that I’m out and I only had one chance to appeal;
  7. I placed the appeal with explanations, as whatever may have looked bad from the Google point of view was just normal stuff at my end;
  8. The appeal was meant to be one-off, I couldn’t do another one ever after, but I knew I had always been corect an I was expecting justice;
  9. Exactly 48 hours after, I got this final reply:

<<Hello,

Thank you for providing us with additional information. However, after thoroughly reviewing your account data and taking your feedback into consideration, we have re-confirmed that your account poses a significant risk to our advertisers. For this reason, we are unable to reinstate your account. Thank you for your understanding.

As a reminder, if you have any questions about your account or the actions that we have taken, please do not reply to this email. You can find more information by visiting [stinky link].

Sincerely,

The Google AdSense Team

Google Ireland Ltd.

Gordon House

Barrow Street

Dublin 4

Ireland

Registered in Dublin, Ireland

Registration Number: 368047

This email may be confidential or privileged. If you received this communication by mistake, please don’t forward it to anyone else, please erase all copies and attachments, and please let me know that it went to the wrong person. Thanks. >>

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So now it’s over. I have nothing to reply to. I have always been innocent but I remain guilty at all times. I can’t fight against the machine. The robot doesn’t care. If you think robots are kindm helpful and play by the human rules, you are wrong.

I think some of you may not understand the full picture: we are nice people doing nice stuff, but bad guys hack on us and Google says: “you should all die, I don’t care, I am the first living ROBOT and humans have non-essential questions; by the way, humans are always wrong. If you can’t send them to jail, just kill the naughty humans on the spot”.

My Dear Google,

You got it wrong but it’s only me that suffers.

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GOOGLE IS A KILLING MACHINE, A CORPORATION THAT HAS BEEN INTRODUCING ROBOTS INTO OUR LIFE TO MEASURE AND CONTROL US. LAUGH NO MORE!

The only pleasure Google has, as a robot, is to see you die just because you are a human being. If the robots can go after the baby in our womb, they’ll kill it with even more enhanced pleasure / efficiency.

GOOGLE is a poison we all have to drink. It will eventually kill all of us to create a docile Internet populated by robots, but, if you are alive for the moment, please spit on Google by boycotting it. This organization is a hydra that know everything you do, knows where you are, has the picture of the front of your house, your private data, everything.

They’ve killed my expectations already just because I was a nice guy and told them the truth.

Google.com is a robot organization! Stay away from it! BOYCOTT GOOGLE!

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I typed this post with only one finger. Guess which one!?

Internet Fun – Joke of the Day (NOT)

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

Less than four days since I posted my opinions on a possible cause for the last Airbus tragedy, I have received the email I’m publishing bellow with almost no comments:


This brand spanking new Airbus 340-600, one of

the largest passenger

airplane ever built,

sits just outside it’s hangar

in Toulouse , France,

without a single hour of airtime on the clock….

image001

Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies

(ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the  ground, such as

engine run-ups prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi .

The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area.

image002

Then they took all Four engines to takeoff power

with a virtually empty aircraft.

Not having Read the run-up

manuals, they had no clue just how light

an empty A340-600 really is.

image003

The take-off warning horn was blaring away in the cockpit

because they had All 4 engines at full power.

The aircraft computers thought they were trying to take off,

but it had not been configured properly (flaps/slats, etc…)

image004

Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit

breaker on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm.

This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air.

image005

The computers automatically released all the brakes –

and set the aircraft rocketing forward !!

With the following result……….

image006

The Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technology crew had no idea

that this is a safety feature so that pilots can’t land with the brakes on.

image007

Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew was smart enough

to throttle back the engines from their max power setting,

so the $200 million brand-new aircraft

crashed into a blast barrier, totalling it.

image008

The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown due to the

news blackout in the major media.

image009

This was because coverage of the story was

deemed insulting to Muslim Arabs.

image010

Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.

image011

A $300 million aircraft meets wall.

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I do not know the original source of this email and I suspect it’s highly advertorial. I guess it could have been launched by an Asian competitor, perhaps one that has ordered even more A380s. Just a guess. But I like the interior.

The Devil in the Mobile Phone III (Just Cruising Before Crashing) – Updated!

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

WARNING: this post includes information that may have to be removed or will be removed without the author of this blog having to give consent to any edit on this post. If you wish to keep this post or parts of it, you should copy and save what you may need for your future info.

If I were to keep the record straight as in Star Trek this should actually be:

MockoBlog MockoLog # 7

I’m jinxing the evil eye of Google so they may not see this post and ignore it as they have done with all my sublime (mocko)work so far.

My 23 (twenty-three is like two every three days since I launched this blog) readers should feel relief and joy finding out that I was too busy at work to further test my slightly personalized mobile in harsh conditions like pubs, bars, late night pubs and night bars, not to mention jeans/denim back pocket while playing pool under the influence (a magic game I never actually get involved in, unfortunately).

All I did through these last days that involved Queen’s Birthday Weekend was to just have the new phone on me and go to work and back home. And back to work. And again.

Well, having a smartphone casually left on the table at lunch time in the work cafe triggers some comments. It goes like: “Oh, you have Internet on your phone!” or “Oh, I didn’t think Blackberry make them so small?” or “Is it an Ipod?”

I can’t be bothered answering these type of comments, I just say modestly, looking intensely at my plastic fork penetrating the plastic noodles: “No, it’s just – err, it’s just a phone, it was the best ever made when they launched it last year, but actually now it’s not, you can get a more expensive one, it doesn’t have the same features, but it will look bigger, with a bigger screen, you’ll pay for the screen and not for what it can do, so mine is still better. I mean, in a way – anyway, I love my noodles and this phone’s got GPS! See?! And real radio, listen!”

It’s such a cruel comment I’m going to make: the Air France flight from Brazil that was lost in the Atlantic might have had better phones on board.

But they were all switched off. I guess.

Not the phones interfeered with the Airbus’ fly- by-wire system or with its main computer talking with the land-based systems. I may be wrong but in 1994  an Airbus plane flying towards Paris had the auto pilot taking over from the human pilot. It performed jumps up and down, almost crushed the plane while the real pilot was trying to switch the auto system off. The plane went straight up and then down. I think I remember the pilot was then held as a hero, then silenced and perhaps he lost his job. The line that was operating that flight was Tarom. This is one saga I know of, but there might have been other ones. Please don’t take this as 100% sure, it’s just a blog anyway.

If any of my next to zero readers thinks this is a joke, please read:

????? ?? ?????

In case they remove it from the database, here’s a copy of the incident, as described in Franglaise:

INCIDENT TAROM
Le 24 septembre 1994 a 12H 45 le pilote du A310-325 perd le contrôle de l’avion en arrivant à Orly face Ouest. L’avion pique sur la ville de Villeneuve le ROI. A 240 mêtres du sol, le pilote réussit a redresser l’avion.

Incident description – Status:Final


Date: 24 SEP 1994
Time: 12.45
Type: Airbus A.310-325
Operator: Tarom
Registration: YR-LCA
C/n: 636
Year built: 1992
Crew: 0 fatalities / 11 on board
Passengers: 0 fatalities / 175 on board
Total: 0 fatalities / 186 on board
Location: Paris-Orly Airport (ORY) (France)
Phase: Landing
Nature: Scheduled Passenger
Departure airport: Bucharest-Baneasa Airport (BBU)
Destination airport: Paris-Orly Airport (ORY)
Flight number: 381

Remarks:
Tarom Flight 381 approach to Paris-Orly Runway 26 and the captain was at the controls. He decided to perform an automatic approach and landing. The flight crew started to put the aircraft into the approach configuration, with slats and flaps at 15/0 at 10.42:05, then at 15/15 at 10.42:53. The landing gear was extended at 10.42:57. Approaching the OYE beacon at indicated speed 250 kt and heading 325, before lining up with the runway, the Captain noted that the aircraft was not capturing the ILS glide slope automatically. He disconnected the AP and continued the approach on manual control, keeping the Autothrottle in operation. As the aircraft descended through 1,700 feet, at 10.43:22, with a speed of about 195 knots, the Captain asked for flap extension to 20 . The VFE, the speed limit authorized for this new configuration, is 195 knots. When the flap control was set to 20 , the thrust levers advanced and engine thrust increased. The flight crew countered the nose-up effect resulting from the increase in thrust by using the pitch controls, with the auto-throttle (ATHR) remaining in automatic mode. The throttle levers were then quickly brought back to the idle position. At the same time, the trimmable horizontal stabilizer started to move in a nose-up direction. The nose up effect that resulted was countered by the flight crew through gradual nose-down action on the elevators. When the trimmable horizontal stabilizer reached its maximum nose-up value and the elevators also reached their maximum nose down value, the throttle levers, according to the FDR readout, moved rapidly to their stops. In a few seconds, the flight path started to rise and the pitch attitude went to 60 . Witnesses saw the aircraft climb. It banked sharply to the left and the right and stalled before adopting a strongly negative pitch attitude (-33 degrees) towards the ground. The maximum altitude reached was 4,100 feet, while a minimum indicated speed of 35 knots was recorded. The stall and ground proximity warnings sounded during the descent. The flight crew managed to regain control of the aircraft, with the lowest point being around a height of 800 feet, that is 240 meters from the ground. The flight crew then performed a visual circuit, followed from the tower by the controller. The second approach was made with a configuration with slats and flaps at 20/20. Landing took place at 10.52:25.

Safety actions :

Source: (also check out sources used for every accident)
S185 ; FI 5-11.10-94(4) + FI 23-29.11.94(6); AW&ST 03.10.94(37) ; ASW 03.10.94(6) + 17.10.94(6) + 24.10.94(3); Bureau Enquêtes-Accidents Report on the incident on 24 September 1994 during approach to Orly (94) to the Airbus A 310 registered YR-LCA operated by TAROM (YR-A940924A)

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A more famous Airbus incident happened the same year, this time all on bord died in Russia. The conflict between the autopilot and the human pilots was involved in this crush as well. See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aeroflot_Flight_593

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I’ll get back to my mobile phone goodies in a later post. Let’s have a moment of silence for the 228 victims of the last Airbus crush – Flight AF 447.

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On 28/06/09 I received on my email two photos that are thought to be taken on a Casio digital camera by Paulo G. Muller, a Brazilian passenger on that flight, moments before he must have lost his life. It is my duty to say that what can be seen in these pictures more or less destroys my theory and tends to point more towards an explosion, a possible terrorist attack. I have no further comments but I’m sure there will be readers who will.

airbus1decomp

airbus2decomp

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Now that you’ve seen the pictures, I can tell you that they are just dirty advertising for a Casio digital camera, they arrive in your inbox as an email with a story about a Brazilian actor who took them on his Casio camera. The images are actually frames from the TV series LOST. My original theory on what caused that crash stands!